The unknown is a virtue to people couregous enough to explore it, as president John F Kennedy said " We have nothing to fear ,except fear itself". The point the president was conveying is that the only downside of exploring the unknown in life is the fear of exploring it, he was giving reason not to fear the unknown. The reasoning some people are afraid of the unknown is because of the fear that the unknown causes in people life. The common misunderstanding of the unknown is that it is not a risk to dive into the unknown , it is a risk to ignore it and miss possible opportunities and experience that we can not achieve when staying withing out comfort zone. The world without people brave enough to traverse the unknown would be horrible. If Martin Luther king had been afraid of the unknown , or Ghandi would have been afraid of the unknown large parts of the world would be still be poverty and discriminated against. People willing to walk through the unknown and the people that can change the world.
several grammatical errors
great use of quote
repetition of the word "unknown"
good analysis and connection to famous historical figures
meant to type a 6 sorry
Exploring the unknown is an important matter in today's society. It could perhaps lead to the cure for cancer, Alzheimer's, and many other terminal illnesses. Neurologists,for one, tend to explore the many different parts of the brain to learn as much as possible about how the body functions. Without an urge to learn about the unknown, many ideas today would not be as developed as they are. For example, the brain was thought to be very simple minded, but if the brain were so simple, we wouldn't have any idea where to start with learning about it. Some people may say that the unknown is a terrifying black hole of uncertainty, but many others would claim the opposite and say that with optimism, anything is possible. Some people may believe that terminal illnesses are untreatable and that's just how the person will spend the rest of their life. However, these are the people scared of the unknown and they may refuse to accept anything that was not concreted before they were able to form their own thoughts and opinions.
incorporate stronger vocab
use phrase other than "some people"
Almost everything in the universe has an unknown to it, medicine, physics, math, everything, but with the unknown comes curiosity. We can't live in a world without the unknown because without it the world would be boring and there would be nothing to live for. Unknown is more than just information, it is the past present and future, like the American Revolution when they didn't know if they could even stand up to the most powerful superpower in the world or now when we don't know how the new Supreme Court Justice will stand and react to relevant problems. On the other hand, people may say unknown is the cause of fear and anxiety but is is also that cause of curiosity and discovery. Even if you wanted to get away from the unknown, it is physically impossible because it is all around us but it is up to you to determine the unknown as a positive or a negative.
lacks use of commas
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Many of life's most crucial lessons are learned by diving into the unknown and we wouldn't grow into decent people without taking a few risks, however in the case of a family taking a leap of faith isn't the most wise decision. It's one thing to jeopardize your own future but a completely different story to endanger the lives of people who are dependent on you for shelter and security. If the gamble could result in something more than "a little difficult to cope with" it's safer to opt out and continue on the current path if it is more secure. While others may argue that the choice may result in far more opportunities than there are currently, a family's security and well fare is more of a priority. The unknown is where people flourish and grow but it should only be explored when there is surety if the risk doesn't pan out.
needs to make historical connections
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The value of exploring the unknown is great, but only for a confined percent of the population that are driven for it. Lindbergh has a narrow mind given she has a creative mind as an author and a different view on the world as an aviator that allows her to explore. Like wise Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once had a dream of the unknown that all African Americans could encounter equality. King had drive and patience in order to achieve his goal. However, not everyone has these qualities, and therefore should not explore the unknown. The American school system designs students to have a uniform way of thinking that will then translate to factory workers. This system is hard to divert from because so many students lack drive that might connect to success if present later in life. Without a need for success, these people not deviate from the known path because why would they want to put in the extra work, and why would they want to bring "unnecessary" fear into their life?
nice use of vocab
contradicting statement in second sentence
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Facing the unknown is one of the few decisions that a person can make to truly change their lives for the better. Take for example the Revolutionary War where our ancestors took up arms and fought against the tyranny of Britain with no idea at all of what the outcome would be. These brave patriots went straight into the unknown and forged their own path so that generations of Americans would live free from oppressors. Some people would say that adventuring into the unknown is foolish and that your life would not improve but instead become worse.. The problem with this thinking is that if you don't take these chances and embrace the unknown then your life will never improve and you will be the only person at fault.
spice up vocab
great historical connection that was supported
The unknown can be a scary thing, but the unknown also has many positive things to it. The unknown makes our lives interesting, and the world would not be what it is today without the unknown. Just like when the United States declared war on Germany in WW2.The United States had no clue if we were going to win, but we felt the risk was worth taking for the possibility that we would win, then we won. I can understand the belief that the unknown is a bad thing, but if every person knew what was going to happen in their daily lives, than whats the point of life. If you already knew what job you were gonna get, you knew who you were gonna marry, you knew you were gonna win a game before even going, etc. There would be no enjoyment in life if we didn't have the unknown, and there would be no excitement in the world when something amazing happens when we already knew it would happen.
use different word for unknown
few grammatical errors
don't use slang- going not gonna
good evidence used to back up claims
Exploring the unknown is necessary for humans to advance through life and retain new information about this dark, locked up chamber we call Earth. If there was no value behind exploring the unknown and mankind didn't even try to stumble onto new discoveries, then we would still be stuck in the caveman age. There will always be risks that come with unknown things. For example, the Cold War was a very tense, sensitive time for the world. People everywhere would jump at the sound of a cat jumping off a table and hitting the floor because they feared the unknown. But by pushing through this dark time, we surpassed it and conquered the unknown. While yes, not knowing what lies behind that corner is quite terrifying, without exploring the world and its many locked away secrets, how will mankind progress? Taking risks is necessary for everyday life, and if we cave into the fear then we might as well put our hands up and give in to the uncertainty that haunts us.
back up claim more by saying what resulted from pushing through during the Cold War
Coming face to face with the unknown can be the much needed spawn of hope for a better future, but also stifling to the unprepared human mind. How this uncertainty is handled is up to the subject of change, and in order to truly take advantage of the unending amount of possibility, acceptance is the first step. With trauma, novel developments, and change for the better all cloaked with the same intimidating situation, how are we supposed to stay calm? With the fear instilled in many people's hearts at the fact of a man like Kavanaugh in the supreme court, or even still frightened by our current president, how are we supposed to face these frequent changes without fear? The truth is, you genuinely can't, and change's beauty does indeed lie in the unknown and struggle. This, understandably, people as a whole are naturally afraid of, and not everyone can handle change with grace. But by the chance the future does favor you, the thought of missing out on that would haunt you far more than your situation before.
don't get too opinionated in 4th sentence
great analysis and stance
Exploration of the unknown is a necessity for the continuous technological development of the Earth. Throughout history, many geniuses have developed and are continuously developing advanced systems that are making our future a reality. By doing what no one believes to be possible and entering fields that no one knows to be in existence, these people are exploring the unknown. With the exploration of the unknown comes an extreme risk. This risk scares many people away, but, in order to further progress technology, these risks must be taken, and the rewards that can be reaped are far greater than passing up an opportunity to change the world.
give at least 1 specific example of a risk taken
repetition of exploration and continuous
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The unknown is a terrifying concept that humans have a hard time wrapping their heads around, but without it, life would just be a dull place where we sit around either waiting to die knowing when the time will come, or watching a whole movie knowing the outcome of the end. For example, book lovers would not want to sit down with a juicy novel for days and already know who ends up in love in the end or sports fanatics wouldn't want to watch their favorite teams play in the big game if they already knew who took the victory. Some people would say they would want to know the future so they can cherish the only time they have left with people if they will pass soon. You shouldn't have to know when they die to want to spend a much time with them as you can. The future is scary, but it is also the most exciting element of your life that makes it worth living.
run on sentences
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There are many outcomes and possibilities that can come from exploring the unknown. Some negative and some positive. The unknown can be a positive journey that helps individuals conjure up traits and morals that will benefit them, but it can also develop bad habits and form ugly characteristics if individuals don't learn from mistakes that the unknown can cause. Exploring the unknown gives life experiences that can be told to friends, children, grandchildren etc to help set them on the right path or help someone be there for another. An experience, for example, is a loved one's death. For certain people that is a part of the unknown that they have not yet experienced or dealt with before. People who have been through that unknown can be of help with certain feelings and thoughts to that person. Though, experiences from the unknown can be inspiring or helpful, they also can be negative. An experience can build a bad habit like drugs, for example. Exploring that unknown can lead to death and addicts and many other things. The unknown has its good and bads.
combine first two sentences into 1
too informal with use of etc
good diction but change up use of the word unknown
change though to although
Anne Lindbergh's values of the unknown are completely valid in today's society. Everything we know now was unknown at some point, and thinking of that, what would happen if no one took the chance to explore? Exploring the unknown brings knowledge, breaks records, and gives people all over the world a motivator. James Cameron, a famous movie director, has recently gone deeper into the ocean than anyone ever has before even though he had no idea what he would see or what would happen. The world came face to face with the life-threatening disease of Ebola, and no one knew if it would be the next black plague. Average people, like ourselves face the unknown everyday without thinking, personally experiencing a flight by yourself and navigating oneself through the airport, having a possibility to go anywhere or to do anything, is facing the unknown. The values of Lindbergh stand today because without facing the unknown, we will never make progress in the world. But it can be seen as a negative thing as well. With the unknown, comes the factor of fear which overcomes many people. Fear holds people down and has become a common reason for many people playing a "safe" route. The values of the unknown can be seen both ways, but its better to apply them to make progress.
few grammatical errors
backed up claims well with original evidence
good structure and vocab
Exploring the unknown can be very beneficial to anyone who chooses to do it. Exploring the unknown is something everyone has to face and more often than not there is a positive outcome. Historically there has been several beneficial outcomes to exploring the unknown one of which has been the fist voyages to America. They sailed out into something and had no idea of what they were going to find and it ended up giving them a home away from discrimination. There are times when exploring the unknown can have a negative side to it, but we shouldn't let the few harmless instances prevent us from finding new and great things. Without exploring the unknown you wouldn't be able to achieve anything because your to scared that there will be a bump in the road.
repetition of the phrase "exploring the unknown"
a couple grammatical errors
need stronger vocab
be sure you can defend your stance by saying "harmless instances"
good historical connection
Exploring the unknown is often feared of; however, it is essential to live a carefree life. Everything in this world, going from science discovers, to space exploration, or even to the next big epidemic hold an endless amounts of possibilities,ones that are unknown to humans. So the question is why are people often scared of this unknown, the lack of knowing what is around them in the daunting, dark room? Without the exploration of unknowns, nothing new and exciting would be discovered, so the fears that are brought from this exploration are worth the pain.
immature in structure
need a more specific example to back up claim
incorporate stronger vocab
The fear of the unknown has done nothing but hold humanity back. Brand new opportunities are brought upon our lives millions of times, but the only thing stopping anyone is the idea of a disappointing future. Space is an open-end topic almost directly related to the unknown. The mystery of what is beyond us has been pondering in some of our brightest individual's minds. If only space explorers could just know what is up there before they risk their life for the greater good, would it all be worth it? Or is it the idea of making new discoveries that will benefit mankind keeping Americans and the rest of the world exploring our solar system and further. The value of the unknown is held at the highest standard, as it is what the world must depend on if it ever wants to advance further than it stands right now.
second to last sentence is phrased as a question so it needs a question mark
fix phrasing of sentence 4- the mystery of what is beyond us has been what many of our brightest individuals have been pondering
In Anne Morrow Lindbergh's book "Gift From the Sea" she mentions the unknown which can be scary. As numerous civilians in tropical regions of the world have felt as hurricanes have slipped in and out of their homes throughout their lives. As fear strikes them the closer a hurricane come, the fear of losing their home or loved ones washes over them. Although the unknown brings fear it can also open a door to endless possibilities. For those hit by hurricanes they may loose their home but now they have endless choices as to where they would like to build a new home. Unfortunately starting of some where new brings in a boatload of unknowns which can cause anxiety and stress and a possibly a pit of problems. The unknown is something every person experience a multitude of times in their life, mainly the big ones cause dramatic changes.
second sentence needs to be rephrased- it comes across like it's missing a part from the beginning
a few grammatical errors
good imagery and connection with "washing" and "boatload" in relation to a hurricane
last sentence needs to be rephrased
Author Anne Morrow Lindbergh presents the idea that the unknown is usually seen as a mad thing, but that the unknown is one of the most enriching things in life and must be viewed as such. Many people view the unknown as something that brings bad things, similar to how the future is viewed as scary by many people;However, the future is the only path we have to grow, succeed, and thrive as human beings. The future is full of endless possibilities and opportunities similar to the statement made by Lindbergh, "And yet it is the unknown with all its disappointments and surprises that is the most enriching."
needs stronger vocab
shorten quote- 6 word rule
summary not analysis